I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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