ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
