last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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