im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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