Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize