Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
foreskin is a definite game changer
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I believe in your delicious
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
