haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize