piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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