i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
