I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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