she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
