don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
