Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
