how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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