You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So vagazzling was a success
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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