Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
