Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
