We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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