You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let's get the cat blown out
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
