At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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