Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
