Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
