My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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