I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
