well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
