no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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