Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
