i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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