He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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