its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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