Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
