I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
