Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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