Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
