Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
