sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize