is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
