508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
