rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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