So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
