I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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