I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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