Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
