Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
