If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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