Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
