there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
