It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
