After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
