I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
