i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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