Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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