moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
