can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
