Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
