Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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