Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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