so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
