Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
