please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
