Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
