apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
