So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have fence marks all over my body
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
