I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
