dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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