well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
