He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Terrible idea I love it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
