Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize