just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
