Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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