"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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