Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
